hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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