just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
