I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
