Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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