walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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