Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
