how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
