I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
