you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
