Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
