There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
