I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
