did you get engaged???
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
