but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
