Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
