the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
