I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
