He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
