C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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