He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
