Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize