Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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