dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
