Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize