Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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