I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
