Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
