i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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