I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
