D3 body, D1 cock
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
