i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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