just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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