I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We talked him into tasing himself.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
