how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
