so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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