Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
