I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
