New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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