You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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