Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
