i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize