Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
