The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
