According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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