her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
