My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
