I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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