just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
