i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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