So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
