Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
