Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
