He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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