i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
me + whiskey = a bad person
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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