hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
