i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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