whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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