we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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